criss crossing paths

Crossing paths today with an old and cherished friend, whom I thought I had lost through time and distance, was for me, one of those sweet treasures you find along the way that you keep with you. Lost in the moment of joy, laughter, reminiscing in the memories of our youth, I remember what it was like not to have a care in the world, still innocent and untouched by cynisism and the harsh realities of life.

Towards the end of this random reunion, I can't help but ponder at her parting words. That to this day, I'm still wearing my golden halo. Upon further discussion she tells me in our childhood, I was the one that all the girls envied the most and wanted to be bestfriends with - the prettiest girl that had everything she could ever want. That the best that life had to give was given to me on a silver platter. And that looking at me now, I'm still that pretty girl that everyone wants to be with.

So now I find myself remembering an old saying "be careful what you wish for...you might get more than what you ask" or something to that effect. How long have I been wishing, praying, hoping - not for that golden halo. But an easier path. Those times where I thought I was losing it, times when I could barely keep it together, times when I've been so broken down and demoralised I didn't think I had the strength to carry on - that I wished with all that I had, for something else other than the pain and sorrow my heart was filled with.

All I want is to sing my song, a melody to sweep me away in its own wondrous embrace.... is that too much to ask?

© Ethel Sampang 2007