21st august 2007
9ish pm

As I sit here reflecting......

Huddled against the cold, my mind looks inwards.

Oblivious to the steps of the individuals on their way home, the harried footsteps of couples as they try and make it to their dinner reservation on time........or the slow leisurely steps of a group of friends on their way for a short get together over drinks at a bar somewhere close. As each of them pass me by, faint echoes of their world brushes past me.

Just another nameless face in the sea of humanity.

It seems a lifetime has passed since the last time I've looked deep into myself. The previous times are too painful to remember.

Not because it's fresh.

Because upon looking back I got lost in the pain. In this time I had lost control.

I was scared, lonely confused and hurt beyond compare.

I don't know if I'm keeping it together.

Scared that I'll somehow loose the grip I've got.

Figuring out what it is I'm doing just to keep it together.

Lost.Broken.Empty.Fragmented.Desolate.Scared.

These are just a few words to describe the space I'm in right now.
© Ethel Sampang 2007